Stuff I Hate

People have told me I’m getting too serious. Let me fix that. Here is a bunch of stuff I hate.

1. Jared from Subway. No real reason. The man makes me feel violent.

2. When my wife tries to sneak low-fat cream-cheese into my diet. You are not fooling anyone. It is like spreading Elmer’s paste all over my bagel. Knock that crap off.

3. People who stand in line at a fastfood place for 15 minutes and decide to start their decision making process when they get to the register. If you do not know that you want a cheeseburger by now you never will. Get out of line.

4. Time changes. That is just stupid.

5. People who say, “Yeah, no, right?” I asked you the question. I do no need three contradicting responses. Yes? No? Move on.

6. Monkeys. They are disgusting. See previous post entitled “Dad, Get me a beer.”

7. People who order rum and Diet Coke. It’s not the calories that are killing you.

8. The “Very Special” sit-com episode. If I am watching this show, I want you to make me laugh. Do not try to teach me something. Do not make the characters “real.” Make laugh. Now.

9. The lack of an IQ requirement to use the self-check out line. You all know what I mean. On to #10.

10. People who think that “No Pets” sign does not apply to them because they are toting around some rat-dog. I do not care if it is canine, rodent, or if your will states that the creature you are pushing around in a stroller gets your house. It is still some type of animal. It is a pet. Get it out of here. While I am at it, if there is a doggy afterlife, there are wolf ancestors waiting to destroy that creature for being toted around in a carrier while wearing an argyle sweater.

That’s it for now.

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